Bacon on wheat with a peppery balsamic mayo...

Well...I have taken a break from the ole blogspot routine.  Why?  We are exhausted and I'm tapped out on funny.  Trying to get through the days and nights.  It has been an adjustment for the whole family.  We still hear alarms in the middle of the night...except we have to deal with them ourselves. Groundhog day...Groundhog night. Clifford is quite relieved that we are home to save him from the inferno.  That is bittersweet...the inferno...the sweet is that we are mostly inside running up our electric bill...the bitter...no swimmin : ( no tan : ( no Vitamin D : ( no socializing : (

As much as we would like to be on the patio at El Gabacho or floating in the pool with a cold PD...not happening.  We avoided a readmission to the hospital yesterday.  Although we had hoped never to see Forest Lane and 75 ever again...we raked up more toll fees to get there via Colleyville.  We spent all day in the ER.  Saw some old friends and met new ones.  His follow up with Dr. Kim didn't go as planned.  He didn't like what he saw on Robert's swallow study.  Through much coaxing...2 nurses...2 physicians...and the CT girl Stephanie (who is sweet on Robert)...we came up with a contrast cocktail that wouldn't induce horrible nausea and vomiting for Babo.  Who knew Rasberry Ice Crystal Light...would save him.  The good news is the upper GI and CT showed no leak from his sleeve, stent was in place and no leak from J-tube.  However, on 3 views there was free air in abdomen that shouldn't be there.  The plan...readmission.  ohhhhh....no.  My medical brain kicked in with the strong willed support of Robert and had a candid conversation with Dr. Saed.  There was no visible source for the air to be there.  They wanted to observe and repeat the CT scan.  We decided that Forest Park Medical Center didn't need to Babosit all weekend.  So...he is NPO...nil per os...Latin for nothing by mouth...google is great....all weekend.  Repeat CT scan on Monday to see if it is better...worse...same...etc. 

So lastnight...I went to Tom Thumb to get refills on antibiotics and pain meds.  I hear over the loud speaker..."Mrs. Walter please come to the pharmacy."  "Um, Mrs. Jordan...please come to the pharmacy."  I was welcomed by a jolly Brit--ish pharmacist.  She wanted to know how he was doing...tolerating his medicine?  Pain being managed?  Prevacid working?  Losing weight?  Spirits? Lawsuit?  Wow.  Umm...I'm Jaime.  Nice to meet you....and you are?  She was quite entertaining and sweet...on Robert that is.  I keep seeing this theme.  : )

So I roamed the isles of Tom Thumb like I've never shopped before.  I'm so sick in tired of fast food that I can't stand myself.  Grocery shopping was such a relief.  Apples and grapes and carrots oh my!  Yet I still managed to come home with the necessities...cheese...dark chocolate...frozen pizza...and a bottle of Apothic Red...among other fun things like Listerine strips, Burts Bees, and an Ace Bandage.  My purse is even more interesting.  I'd kill it on Lets Make a Deal right now. 

Some days are better than others.  So call...write...text...email...airmail...visit.  He would appreciate it, especially during the day when I'm at work (for those of you off or with a local lunch break). We are passing the time.  Feeding.  Flushing.  Laughing.  Cussing all the way.  I think I rented every movie at Blockbuster lastnight.  Lincoln Lawyer and Due Date down.  I'm introducing him to shopping therapy today.  I will let you know if it works.  I can't believe he doesn't know what that is!  Ranks up there with chocolate therapy...happy hour therapy...queso therapy...and family therapy!

--Jaime

Chicken E...of course...

Jobs that I know I don't want after spending a day of tv with Robert...to start...a wildlife photographer hunting polar bears.   He spent 6 months...-50 degrees in the tundra...just for an hour of film.  A mom (that eats humans by the way)...and two cubs...really?  That must be the "passion" for your job that I know nothing about.  A moose tour guide in the Yukon...anyone have a map?  Thank goodness he shot the arrow straight through the lung and pierced the right ventricle...at least thats what they found after they sliced it open. Ugh.  After seeing a 1200 lb moose charge at them...you can check that off my list for sure.  A leopard hunter in Nimibia...watch out for the hyenas, lions and tigers and bears OH MY!  I know...lets play sounds of a wild pack of hyenas...out of speakers in our truck...in the dark...to attrack lions.  WTF?   I'm allergic to cats anyway.  Hachoo. Sniff.  Rub.  Run.  Fast.  Really fast.

We have settled in since Robert's discharge home.  Trying to find a proper place for our makeshift nurse's station...i.e. the pool table...for now.  Robert is back to taking shots of Gatorade...water...and sneaking a bite of ice cream every now and then.  All in all he is doing okay.  Today was a busy day...and he is tired.  Between the two of us dreaming of tube feeds and formula in various situations last night...sleep was uh...strange.  I welcome visions of sugar plums or something that doesn't warp our reality.  His Chicken Express is going down quite smoothly tonight...with extra gravy.  He will be up for visitors soon.  Please just give him a call or shoot him a text first.  Thanks for your patience.  Please continue your support.  The next 6 weeks will be the hardest I think. 

--Jaime

Pollo Poblano...Mexican Rice...Reefers...Negro Modelo

Ahhh...no one ever thought I would appreciate the sound of Duck Commander on the tv and the feel of black dog hair sticking to the bottom of my feet..but oh how I do.  Shoulda kept my flip flops on after my pedicure.  "Big Ugly" welcomed me home...sigh.  I actually had to heat pots...turn the ovens on...use condiments...and cook.  Wooohooo!! Oh lawdy...I can cook.  I can really cook.  I was nervous that all of the wafer like carb boards might impair my culinary judgement...ask Darleen if it did.

You will be happy to know that Robert and Clifford were reunited this afternoon on a cool day in July. What did we top out at?  107 degrees?  You couldn't tell by our tan.  We are patiently waiting for the home health nurse to show us just how to put Pollo Poblano down a tube.  This shall be interesting.  We are proud owners of an IV pole...EnteraLite Infinity (which isn't a new car...I promise)...formula (but not because we have a baby)...and a various array of gauze pads and tubing.  I assure you the tubing is for feeding purposes only...no bonging beer...no watering the lawn...just Pollo Poblano. 

Did you know after a 14 day hospital stay what you get?  The personal cell phone numbers for all 3 physicians...coming soon to Craig's list.  Tape...lots of tape.  We have plenty of duct tape but this is all FANCY tape...a nurse's dream.  You hurt?  I can fix it.  Syringes...60 cc...syringes...the big ones.  I see water fights in our future.  A home health nurse named...Elaine...sweet...umm...experienced if you will...with a nice cough...not so productive.  Ick.  Bags...lots of plastic bags...some with dirty laundry...some with I dunno...randomness in them. 

I could ramble...and I shall...on my next blog...unless Robert takes it back.  : (  Robert's text to me today was this..."post on the blog headed home" and "thank you".  That was WAY too boring for me and you I'm sure. 

--Jaime

Chicken and Waffles...

So...enough is enough.  We are ready to J E T outta here.  We have made great progress today.  TPN off.  Morphine discontinued.  Zofran not needed.  He is now on Lortab liquid which manages his pain much better.  He would write his own orders if he could.  He took control of the dry erase board at the nurse's station today and wrote DC next to his name.  Dr. Saed, along with the other nurses, were quite entertained. 

We started the Chicken and Waffles about 1 o'clock today.  They are slowly increasing how much he gets every 2 hours.  His goal is 80 cc/hr.  We are at 50 cc without any adverse effects.  We both had a nap today...all I needed was a little ESPN to lull me asleep.  Once we were awake for the second time today...he really focused on drinking liquids.  He has had 9 ounces without difficulty.  Yea!  He has figured out that Crystal Light Lemonade and Strawberry Kiwi makes him gag.  His drink of choice beyond Lortab of course,  is water and red Powerade. 

We are so close to going home.  He is beside himself.  I on the other hand am thoroughly enjoying eating whatever junk I can get my hands on.  My appeal to his physcians will involve the effects this hospital stay has had upon my waistline.  24 hour diet recall includes...creamed spinach, sweet potato casserole, loaded mashed potatoes, trail mix, grapes, cheddar cheese, spicy monterey jack cheese, hummus, pita chips, cajun snack mix, peanut M&Ms, Snickers, Crystal Light in gag flavors, water, flat diet coke (I was desperate), a Grande Nonfat 2 Equal Hazelnut Latte, and Hubba Bubba.  Please let us go home so I can stand in front of my freezer and refrigerator and gawk at the cool sustenance that awaits me.  I know...I know...its not about me.  Robert can't eat anything.  How selfish am I to gripe about food? 

So lets talk about the couch that Darleen and I have slept on for 2 weeks.  Robert sat on it today for the first time.  He said it was equivalent to his at home.  I don't miss that one either.  It is quite deceiving actually.  It looks perfectly normal until you sit in it and roll on to your neighbor...or look underneath and see the springs busting out of the bottom.  The truth is...we would sleep on the floor if we had to...to support Robert...but lets get this show on the road.  That is all.

--Jaime

From Chicken Fettucini Alfredo to Beef Wellington and Asparagus with Hollandaise...

Robert would have blogged already...but he has been trying to connect the dots.  From the dots...errr staples on his belly...to the last 12 days of his life.  12 days...some of which was in a drug induced stupor.  He may not remember much on those days...but Darleen and I wish we didn't remember any of it. 

Something he does remember is quite entertaining...his dreams.  Letting the rabbits out of the room...eating at CiCi's buffet with his mom and I...living in Sunnyvale (which sounds like some terrifying Stepford Wife-type town)...and a "heated" argument with the Devil.  I would love to have been a fly on the wall during that one.  Although his dreams might become more infrequent and not as memorable...we are happy to say goodbye to the opiate haze.

Yesterday afternoon, a J tube was placed into Robert's abdomen.  The scars on his belly will heal much faster than the scars on his heart but we will GIT R DONE.  Tube feeds start tomorrow.  He wants to go home yesterday but Friday seems more likely. 

We know that although we feel like our world has stopped...everyone elses continues.  We struggle to find the positives of this situation...but I have come up with the following.  Both of our homes are clean.  Bonus.  Clifford got a bath.  Sweet.  Our electricity bills will be way cheaper this month.  That will help with the 20% of a gajillion we will owe.  Less laundry...saves water...because we are so green.  Green...not our lawns...green because we aren't there to water it.  Its not just "Casual Friday" anymore...its casual everyday.  Clean sheets daily.  I think their thread count is higher than our own.  I haven't found a mint on my pillow yet but getting hazelnut creamer in my coffee every morning makes up for it. A tangible reason why we haven't done anything else to plan our wedding or pick up my dress.  A new found love of blogs, socks with anti-slip grids, neverending supply of toilet paper, the IV pump which seemingly acts like a sound machine, Central Market Pecan Pound Cake (Baked Crack...basically), Hot Spots, Saran Wrap, Pink Nitrile gloves and the Name That Bag nightly game.  We also have each other...amazing boys...selfless family...supportive friends...understanding employers...  We have alot.  We are thankful.  We are blessed to have what we have.  We know this but wanted to remind you. 

--Jaime

Brinner...Bacon, Eggs, Biscuits and Gravy, Pancakes and LOTS of Syrup...

As we sit in front of our large and pristine window...we have a great view of Central Expressway. If only it was July 4th again so we could see more fireworks. Believe me...we do not want to relive this experience but the walls are closing in upon us and we are up for any entertainment. This is somewhat like living in a hotel but with worse beds, much more noise, an over abundance of any kind of cracker/non-perishable food items that you could possibly think of...and no pay per view or CMT. How dare they...

We now have two "man plants"...which is nice.  I hope Robert does a better job of not killing them than I do.  I find the task of taking care of plants daunting.  I have a brown thumb, not green.  I will leave that to someone else.  I digress.

Robert has left today's blog to me...or maybe I hijacked it.  He is emotionally drained and preparing himself for the placement of a feeding tube today...wondering what that means for the future.  As Robert put it...Darth Vader and his evil empire came in last night to break the news.  J tube it is...damn.  Reality has set in and we hope that Friday is discharge day.  I try to remind myself that Medicine is a Science.  We don't have a crystal ball.  We don't know whats gonna happen. 

Physically...he is a healthy sick man.  Still no infection.  Still good kidney function.  He was started on blood thinners because he hasn't been as active.  On a good note, he is much more comfortable.  The hiccups stopped after they moved the stent yesterday.  They repositioned it and anchored it in the stomach wall with a clip of some sort.  He is just dealing with some nausea and coming off the Morphine.  We now know all of the nurses and techs by name.  They are great.  All trying to figure him out which is funny.  Every now and then he pulls a one liner out...two rats in the wool sock...or tells a crazy story...all you can eat bologne sandwich buffet.  Its always fun to see how they react. 

Robert is the rock...the funny guy...the big smile...the fun in the room...the one that is there for you.  The roles have reversed and its our job to be that for him.  So lets do it.  Lets be there for him.  Continue to channel your prayers, thoughts, well wishes, optimism, support and presence his way.  He needs it. 

On a more personal note...I want to thank Walter, Darleen, Aaron and Casey for taking care of my Babo.  He can't do this without you.  It means the world to him.

--Jaime

Ma the Meat Loaf! We want it now! 7/11/11

So I am sure that I have forgeten birthday, an anniversry,  party, or even a shower.  But what I do know is today is a sad say.  Today is the day that I a am suuposed to be heding on the journey of real food.  But instead I get a 5 gallon zip lock bag milk like substance.   We are supposed to be greating up for a trip to Cabo the Hogg Hotts wedding this week.  But none of which is coming to fruition. 

Today they are doing another EDG on me.  They are going to remove the old stint for the third time, but this time they are going to put a second stint in.  Hoping that this will bypass the holes and allow me to start drinking some liquids.  I also spoke with Dr. Kim and he said that on Tuesday which is tmrwI am getting a feeding a tube also a J Tube.  So for the next 6 to 8 weeks I will be eating through a tube keeping my food off my stomach so the holes can heal. 

Im rather tired so this is all for now.  The next two days now are the most important now they say.  I am goal driven person and it's hard to set goals when yours doctors wont't set goals with you.  Thank you for all your well wishes and visits.  Some of you I remember and I some of you I don't remember.

Bacon Double Cheeseburger with Curly Fries and a Cherry Coke

Robert's blog for today..."I got nothing...I slept the last two days."  Yesterday, Robert had a Upper GI which showed that the stent has stayed in place and no leak.  This is GOOD news.  The BAD news...intractable hiccups and pain.  Both of his physicians say this is positive.  Tell that to Robert.  He is miserable but we are getting through it.  He has been heavily sedated...as you can tell from his last blog.  I keep telling him if he wouldn't blog in the middle of the night, I could scribe for him.  Oh well.  Free entertainment for you. 

So as it stands, he is stable.  Still no infection.  What have we learned thus far? 
1. You don't come to the hospital for sleep.  I need to give them lessons on timing of care.
2. You don't come to the hospital for food.  What kind of hospital closes their cafeteria on the weekends?  Why is there one lonely vending machine full of Poptarts and Hot Cheetos?  Yuck.  However, surrounding this nice BARIATRIC facility...there is a Popeyes Chicken, Whataburger, Burger King, Sonic, Taco Bueno, Schlotskys's, Mattitos, Taco's y Mas, Subway and most importantly Starbucks within walking distance.  Not that I am walking there but wowza! 
3. Morphine, Ativan and Thorazine don't cure the hiccups.  He sleeps through them mostly.  He has a nice snore...hiccup...snore...rhythm going.  Did you know the longest documented case of hiccups lasted 6 decades?  See...it could be much worse. 
4. Morphine, Ativan and Thorazine don't kill his sense of humor.  I see a glimmer every now and then.
 5.  We have phenomenal friends and family.  We want to thank you for your support and presence.  He can't wait to go home.  He can't wait for this nightmare to end.  He can't wait for tomorrow.

--Jaime

Chicken Fried steak Fried Okra Mased Taters and cream gravey

Today I am 100% miserable thanks to these hiccups. They come between every 5 and 30 seconds. Yesterday confirmed the new hole created by the Radiologist, we had the hopstal administrative board in here on that one.



I had another producer done yesterday to move the sent up, and remove the JP drain. Almost all of my back hss vanished once they took tat thing out.



We don't know what are going to do. More tests more scan ect. Going to be here a while. I miss you all and am ready to come home. See you soon

Mac N Cheese and Bacon 7/8/2011

Todays blog tittle was not my choise.  One of the nurses posted it on my bag before I could gain functanility.  But who doesn't love either one. 

Big set backs yesterday.  Dr. McGee went to do his scope on my EDG to find out what was going on.  Well in the process he not only found one hole he found two.  The first hole was very microsopic and could have been pinched off.  The second hole?  Well not so much.  Interventional Radiolisist put the JP drain line in last Saturday he punctured my new sleeve stomach. 

So now what?  Well Dr. McGee pinched both holes, and placed a stint in my stomach.  The long term solution thanks to this unwanted intruder is going to set me back 6 to 8 weeks. Today they are going to do some chest xrays on my stomach.  Make sure that the stint is in place.  Dr. Kim is going to come pay me a visit again today. 

But the reality is that I am giong to have a J Tube for feeding for the next 6 weeks.  All of my jokes about making someone eat through a straw the rest of their life, well now I am that person.  I will do most of my feedings at night, not sure who this contraption works but we will soon find out. 

Thank you to everyone who has come to visit me.  Sorry yesterday I was very much sleep just seemed like a better option.  I miss everyone, miss my dog, my chair, my pool, my truck, and most of all my boys.  Today is going to be a better day. 

I am going hunting for a radiologist today, early 30's cocky, ugly ass SEC haircut.  GAME ON!!!  Now if I could just find some bait?

King Ranch Chicken 7/6/2011

Every night in the hospital I will get a bag called a TPN bag. This is breakfast lunch and dinner for me. So what I am doing is writing the name of what I would like for dinner on the bag each night. It looks like a gallon of milk in a gallon zip lock bag.

Late last night Dr. Kim finally showed up to meet with us. I was so happy see him, and finally get to talk to my doctor about the problems. He meets with Jaime BGDP and me. He meet with us for 30 to 45 minutes. Talked about several options and future hurdles. The biggest thing that he said is that I am the first person in gastric sleeve history to spring a leak at 4 weeks post opp. Nobody has ever seen this before. So he said that we are going to proceed with caution. The biggest example that he gave was getting stitches in your hand, and 4 weeks later your bare skin busts open. So I am a mystery wrapped inside of an enigma.

This morning we had 2 big tests run, we had a CT scan done again, and an upper GI. They are having a hard time pin pointing the leak. They say that I have air bubbles forming on the outside of the sleeve but the leak can't be detected.

So what is next, well tmrw morning we are going to do an endoscope to determine if we have a hole or not? If we can't find a hole no stint will be put in. This is what we hope for. If no leak is found we will start to track the flow of my stomach with liquids. We will know more if those liquids start to show up in my JP drain. If nothing shows up we pull the drain and go home. Best case scenario right now.

If the hole is found we will place a stint in my stomach to stop the leak. Upon that we will track the stint for movement and move forward with a J Tube (feeding tube) for 6 weeks. If all of that goes exactly how I explained we will be out of the hospital on July 13th one week from today.

That is all we know at this point. I want to thank everyone for you support. It has been over whelming with the well wishes prayers, and offers for help. It truly helps a lot when you feel like you are at rock bottom to get such an over powering support from your friends and family.

But at the end of the day I am a fighter. I don't take crap from anyone, and I don't quit. So a little hole in my stomach is not going to stop me from reaching my goals. So Casey look out you will be the heaviest Jordan boy at my wedding.

I will have a new post tmrw to keep you updated.

Steak and Taters 7/5/2011

Hello friends and family,

I have been getting Lot's of inquiries to how I am feeling and what is going on. Well I am going to give you the break down for my journey and what I have left in store for me.

Back in October of last year I made the decision to pursue bariatric surgery. I chose Dr. David Kim to perform my gastric sleeve surgery. Yes he is the one on the bill boards, tv, and was Nate Newton and Ben Rogers doctor. Through a long laundry list of items to check off, from weight loss meetings to sleep studies. On April 1st I got my surgery approved through Aetna and tipped the scales 363 pounds.

On April 1st I started the Atkins diet again. On May 17th I went to an all liquids diet, drinking chocolate protein shakes, chicken broth, water, PowerAde zero, and propel. I was 346 lbs when I started this diet. I battled all the way to June 6th which was my surgery date. I hit the scales at 324 pounds on the day of surgery.

Surgery was a big success. Dr. Kim performed 14 surgeries on that day, and of the 14 patients I was one of only 2 or 3 to get to go home the next day. I followed the instructions daily from not driving to sticking to all liquids. At my follow up appointment on June 14th I touched the scales at 305 pounds. Everything was on the downhill.

Weight loss was occurring daily I got less than 300lbs for the first time since 1999. Very excited for the progress I was making. On Monday June 27th I started my first taste at real food. It was pureed food but real food at that. All throughout last week I was noticing pain in my right side after I would eat. It would travel from the front back to causing discomfort after I would eat. The pain would eventually go away and come back every time I would eat. The other noticeable problem was not being able to pee.

All of these warning signs promoted Jaime and I to head to USMD urgent care for a work up. We were looking for a CT scan and lab work. It didn't take long for the doctors to determine that I had a leak, or abscess around my sleeve. I was relatively quickly transported by ambulance to Forest Park Medical Center. I was immediately taken to a room. More scans, more labs, more test were run. Sunday morning a JP drain was placed into my back to reach the damaged area and let it drain. They penetrated two ribs and went through my pleural space. I was also given a picc line into my right shoulder. That touches my heart in an effort to feed me through IV.

We have learned that I have a hole in my stomach to what size we don't know yet. On top of that we have an abscess. So I am being treated with very heavy antibiotics to boot. Tomorrow morning I am going to have one more CT scan to determine if the hole is healing or not. If it is not healing they are going to do surgery on Thursday morning. Dr. McGee will perform an endoscopy procedure with a camera down my throat. He will then place a stent in my stomach. On top of that they are also going to put in a J tube. This is a feeding tube that will be below my stomach. I will have this tube for 6 weeks. No food again for 6 more weeks.

This is a hard time for me. Very strange place and very hard for me to understand what is going on. It is frustrating; it's going to be difficult. But as usual life doesn't slow down for your personal problems. The word is that I will get to go home at the earliest on Saturday. Potentially could be two weeks just depending upon how things go. This is a day by day situation.